He Taught Me
Grief is the weirdest emotion I’ve ever felt. One minute I’m crying with a pain so deep that I feel the piercing in my soul. One minute I’m smiling and laughing as I reminisce on the memories of love in action and his wonderful smile. One minute I’m lost and confused and upset because my dad, my friend, my first protector, the one who taught me to dream, is no longer here with me. I would not grieve if I had not loved.
Losing a parent is nothing I ever imagined and the pain of the loss is a feeling I could have ever conjured up. My dad cared for me so lovingly and tenderly and patiently all of my life. He never stopped raising me. He always lifted me up and never tore me down. He always encouraged me and never discouraged me. He always pushed me to be my best and never belittled my abilities. He persistently RAISED me.
As he raised me, he also offered sage advice to me until he left this earth and his lessons will always help me navigate this complicated journey called life.
“Don’t take no wooden nickels.”
“When times get hard and you don’t know what to do, just recite Psalms 23.”
“Be patient with your children.”
“Don’t let nobody slip you a mickey.”
“You come from good stock.”
“Do your best, forget about the rest.”
“Say your prayers.”
“I love you!”
These few phrases weren’t just empty words to me, but they were the many building blocks he instilled in me. I wasn’t just a hearer of these words from my dad, but I was a front-row witness to him living the love and the lessons he taught me.
Of the many years we spent together, the thousands of memories we made, and the daily phone calls, I never had one bad experience with my dad. He gave all he could to ensure that love from him was all I received, and I am forever grateful for my father.
As I think about my dad and fight through the tears while typing this post, I am thankful because my dad not only passed down his DNA to me, but he also passed on values of thoughtfulness, kindness, fairness, empathy, and love to me also. No robot, web app, video or AI technology can ever teach me the values instilled in me by my father.
I will never stop grieving, but I have comfort because every day is a new opportunity to make the day count by relentlessly living the values my dad taught me.
Some resources that help me deal with my grief:
- Prayer
- Bible
- Tear Soup
- Professional counseling
- Family
- Friends
- Writing
